Saturday, 18 April, 2009
day 6.. feeling damn bloody shagged out already.. especially so mentally.. the concentration exercise is indeed overloading my brain.. i am even having a little trouble playing piano cos my muscle memory is not coordinating properly, and my rhythm/ beats are abit out..guess mental fatigue is settling in..
anyway, worked on the PG Astray the whole of this morning, slept the whole of the afternoon.. i normally do not like to sleep in the afternoon, as i wake up extremely disorientated, but cannot take it already.. so i woke up, thinking i was on MSN talking to someone.. man i hate afternoon dreams.. they are too life-like and real that i always confuse them with reality..
was introduced into the world of family politics.. abit less ambiguous than social politics, but sensitive nonetheless.. there are lots of things that you need to consider before doing.. luckily i do not have such problems with my immediate family.. it is always the relatives, i.e. aunties and uncles that this becomes evident..
for now i am just thankful that there are no visible problems yet.. i was filled in on alot of stuffs that happened when i was young and was thus kept ignorant of.. it is quite sad, to know that sometimes, you cannot even trust your own uncle and auntie, and that the distrust of a father towards his son can be of that magnitude..
not too sure why, but when i heard this kind of stuff happening within the family, the impact is way way much more than if i hear this about my close friends..
i'd rather have my best friend or girlfriend backstab me, than my relatives harbour any ill-motives towards me.. not that i want it.. haix~
just so you know, i didnt break my Gundam at all.. go to the previous post and click on the word "crap" at the end..
completed the right arm, together with the beam rifle.. did the left shoulder armour and the internal frame of the left upper arm only.. not sure why, but i never liked this kind of static pose.. i always prefer a more dynamic one..
finally, it is able to hold its own katana..
this is what the arm looks like from the side.. the same movable armours and hidden hydraulics..
独臂剑侠.. if the other hand is ready i'll definitely have fun with the other katana..
actually, the original design of the Gundam shows that it holds katana, but for the PG they are actually not considered katana.. more of a tachi.. a katana is worn on the obi (belt or sash) with the sharp edge up.. the tachi is worn with the sharp edge down, as shown on this PG Gundam.. FYI..
going Marina Barrage tomorrow for some Residents' Committee function as the unofficial photographer.. will only be able to work on my Gundam in the afternoon, at least.. hope there will still be ample light to play with the poses after i am finished.. one more beam rifle and shield to go after completing the arm..
i couldnt get this nagging feeling of jealousy out of my head, ever since that dream about Derek Lim and Alisa.. for a moment, i was worried that i unintentionally fell for Alisa (my brain sometimes hide stuff like this from my mind.. happened before, most clearly seen, especially by others, during the Yiwen incident)..
but after the hours of thinking while building my PG Astray, i realised.. it is actually jealousy that, without much effort, Derek Lim is able to get what he wants.. throughout my past experience with relationships, i had been similar to his method of doing, abet more timid..
so to see that he succeeded and i didnt, the feeling of jealousy and abit of anger towards myself is there.. this is unlike the self-psycho session i had on myself regarding Peifen.. it is more of my mind interpreting what my brain thought of correctly.. i wish my brain would stop playing such mind games..
but after the hours of thinking while building my PG Astray, i realised.. it is actually jealousy that, without much effort, Derek Lim is able to get what he wants.. throughout my past experience with relationships, i had been similar to his method of doing, abet more timid..
so to see that he succeeded and i didnt, the feeling of jealousy and abit of anger towards myself is there.. this is unlike the self-psycho session i had on myself regarding Peifen.. it is more of my mind interpreting what my brain thought of correctly.. i wish my brain would stop playing such mind games..
10:03 PM