Appreciate me for who I am,
not what I can do.
Listen to what I thought,
not what I said.
Judge me by what I will do,
not what I have done.
Remember me as I tried to be,
not who I was.
Because I am not me.

--Alwyn

this is my last night in camp.. after tomorrow, i will be 'retrenched' and released from service..

so many things happened within NS.. i also dont feel like talking about the details.. i feel that i have changed, if not from before NS, then it would be from before i entered OCS..

but there are some stuffs i've learnt, and i want to list them down..


1. i used to (and sometimes still) want to make friends with everyone i meet.. i've realise that it is a big mistake, as most people are just thinking for themselves, and "friends", to them, are considered expandable when pursuing their goals..

2. i used to believe the phrase "Respect the Elders".. not only within the family, but without.. yet ever since i entered NCC, and was forced to take up a position at the same level as people from 30+ to 50+ years of age, i seriously cant see why i should.. they have/had not done anything that allows me to respect and look up to them..

3. i was thoroughly exposed to a wide range of people, from the pampered to the street-wise, from the good leaders to the ultimate fuck-ups.. and i am glad for this, because my education path so far had not allowed me to interact with these people from different walks of life..

4. i found my anger, and my reason/resolve to try and set the wrong things right..

5. i learnt to interact and command better.. i am not sure whether it is totally because of my rank and post that allowed me the influence, or i myself personally changed.. i'll see soon enough..

6. i was, for once, fully exposed to the stupidity and pathetic-ness of back-stabbers, and was personally targeted a few times.. i know how much it can hurt, and i learnt how to ignore it..

7. i now pay more attention to the word between words, both from others and from myself, because i ever offended people with something my words unintentionally implied..


now that i am going to ORD.. i seem to feel a sense of emptiness. exactly the same i feel on the last day of JC, of 白云岗, effectively for any major events that happened in my life so far..

damn i hate post production blues..







watched 砂时计 again.. was listening to the theme song when i suddenly had the urge to see the whole movie..

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